Bossman and I left on Sunday to start our three week trip. we packed the 24 foot Winnebago View motorhome making sure we were taking just the right amount of food and clothing and not overloading the rig. the heavier your rig, the worse your gas mileage. we use diesel and average about 16 mpg. not bad for a studio apartment on wheels. as i piled my stuff on the dining room table Bossman would take it out to the rig in the driveway. the last to go in were books that were signed on saturday at our book launch party for Gatherings – Writers of Williamson County. friends in michigan had ordered them and i wanted to bring a few extra with me in case i saw any opportunity to shamelessly promote myself. my hubby picked up the bag and almost threw out his back. “What in the world do you have in this tote?” i smiled at him. “books, right?” my smile grew and i said, “they’re for the girls and what if i can sell a few extra ones on the way? you never know…” thirty pounds of books…there goes the gas mileage.
so, the books got stowed and we were on our way. the queen of english (daughter who lives with us) was very happy to see us leave so she could start her own stay-cation; one of silence and solitude.
“okay, this is a road we’ve never been on before,” bossman said as we veered off one interstate onto another. “cool,” i said as i prepared to scan the never-before observed countryside. “tennessee sure does have a lot of trees and hills. looks just like the roads we usually take.” my interest deflated, i sat back in the seat again and waited for something new to pop into view.
“wow. look at that enormous medical center out here in the middle of nowhere.” we were near Fort Campbell Kentucky and it was finally getting interesting. we decided we’d head to Land Between the Lakes and stay the night at Kentucky Dam Resort on the advice of a host at the Kentucky Welcome Center. taking more of her advice, we planned to eat at Miss Patti’s 1880’s Settlement Restaurant. i drooled all over the brochure as we made our way further northwest.
we found the dam campground and were one of about four campers in the 226 site park. “kinda slow, huh?” i asked the young man whose eyes had glazed over hours ago, maybe even days ago. “yeah. it wasn’t this slow last year. it’s pretty empty. you can go find a site and then come back and tell me which one you picked.” so we did.
then we went to Miss Patti’s in Grand Rivers; a very small town. i discovered how small when i went into the IGA and tried to replace my makeup that i’d left home hanging in my travel bag on the towell rack. the store had one bottle of Covergirl liquid makeup and some Avon dry skin lotion. i bought the lotion and the last dispenser of Secret. at least i wouldn’t be a stinky pale face. anyway…back at Miss Patti’s restaurant… we followed the crowd to the brochure’s Pork Chop Extraordinaire, which Bossman had drooled all over. that brochure was a wet mess by the time we got our dinners.
i had the spinach salad with warm bacon dressing, fried catfish, fresh sauteed veggies and bossman had the garden salad with a gallon of thousand island dressing, THE PORK CHOP, and baked potato. during out entree, Bossman started feeling ‘funny’. our conversation quieted as Bossman tried to pull himself together. i paused in my meal to make sure he was going to be okay, and then continued to chow down. my dinner was excellant. bossmans…not so good. the pork chop was dry and well done and his potato was medium rare. he’d lost his appetite due anyway, so i guess there was nothing lost except our vacation.
the episode finally passed and i’d finished my meal. we ordered coconut cake – to go. Bossman was in bed by 8:30pm. now, in our little rig, ‘in bed’ means the couch has been opened and a foam mattress topper with a fitted sheet on it has been placed on top. we then add the rest of the elements that make a complete bed. i wasn’t going to get into bed at 8:30, so i got ready for bed and set up my own little movie theater in the dining area across from him. i turned out the lights and faced my laptop screen away from the poor guy. i covered the glowing apple that faced him with a dish towel and draped the dishtowel over the top of the screen and over two dvds i set up on each side of the screen so the movie glow hit me full in the face. it was a movie facial. i put on Bose headphones and watched A River Runs Through It. i had a flashlight next to me so i could check on my guy as he tossed and turned with his upset tummy. it must have looked like a disco joint from the outside.
at 9:30 the next morning he was still feeling terrible so we decided to head back to franklin to see the doctor. of course, he drove the almost three hour trip himself.
“did you ever go someplace and feel like you’d been there before?” i asked as i scanned the famliar road back to franklin. a pukey bossman glanced at me, “very funny.” a few minutes later he said, “hey, look at that enormous medical center.”